So, the Heidelberg Catechism in all its glory, but the life is going on as usual, and sometimes cries to be written down and remembered. How it is to obey God and get in conflict with people, and then how it is to try to compromise in order not to be deprived of those you have close to you...
Sometimes this pressure is too much, and when you add this world-wide crisis and its influence on your own tiny economy, you disintegrate every single day.
What I can see around me these days are demands and expectations that suffocate me entirely. Everybody wants something from me, giving nothing back. My own miserable existence is getting less and less important, and what is left is pushing me into a hole, in order to protect what little is left of me. My whole being right now is set into the survival mode, bordering to emotional and social hibernation. I'd rather not dwell on it, because when I do, I fall into tiny pieces of ash.
No comments:
Post a Comment