1Pe 3:1-7
(1) Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives--
(2) when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
(3) Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing--
(4) but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
(5) For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands,
(6) as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
(7) Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
This really is simple and straightforward. And yet the world is fervently trying to invent other ways for marriage. Are those ways successful? Do they bring happiness and peace to the families?
Equality, for one. Everything is supposed to be fair and just, for the sake of equal treatment.
- I wash the dishes today, you wash the dishes tomorrow.
- If you do not, I will be mad at you.
- If you are mad back at me, we fight.
- When we fight, our children listen and get scared.
- We calm the children, we make up, we kiss and hug, but we carry the grudge.
- When we fight next time, we take this grudge and use it against each other.
- We call friends and complain.
- We cry alone in some corner.
- We go out and meet somebody new.
- We have 'an affair'.
- Our spouse finds out.
- We fight like crazy.
- Children are hurt, we are hurt, we separate, we kill the marriage.
There is no other way to make the marriage work other than the God's way.
P.S.
This entry is not a result of a crisis in my private life. On the contrary, the more I follow the divine teachings, the better my marriage becomes in the process. Rather, I wrote it to make myself even more aware of what I could lose and what I can gain. If only more people understood those truths...
3 comments:
Ah, Ann, how very right you are. I can speak from the painful experience of a marriage gone bad. I was married when I was 20 to a beautiful woman who had a 3 month old daughter when we first started dating (she was one when we got married). We were very much in love and committed to each other. We were married for 4 years when our son was born. After 7 years of marriage, my wife decided she would be happier alone or with someone else. I will not pretend here that I had a heart submited to love loving her as Christ loved the church. I will, however, say that I sought her heart for God in remaining faithful through it all. She felt no sense of need for obedience to the vows. I live daily reminded of the failure and the heartache of a self-absorbed decision in marriage.
Ah, but God remains faithful. Keep up the great posting.
In marriage the sexes are equal in essence yet different in function. Each serving the other in the context of their God-ordained roles. I appreciate your thoughtful reflections, Ann. Sadly, one can even get used to abuse to where it becomes "normal". May God help us to convey the gospel in our marriage relationship: wives illustrating the willing submission of the church to Christ and the husbands the loving, protective servant-leadership of Christ to His Church.
This is one of the most awesome scripture passages on marriage, imo. I love the truth of it! "Won without a word"...by your "respectful and pure conduct"...WOW. Leaves a LOT up to us wives, doesn't it? Whether your husband is saved or unsaved, these verses apply. Dying to self, so important!
This was a great post, very cutting to read your progression of h/w distancing themselves step by step. And it could all be prevented if at the first point, the wife just selflessly walked in the spirit and not in the lusts of the flesh. (wanting help with the dishes!)
Good job and thanks!
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